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On April, 2006

Browsing all posts on April, 2006

to work or not to work

tommrow they are saying that mexicans shouldn'g to to work or shcool or whereever it is they go.  They should just load them all up in a paddy waggon and send them where they came from, but that's just my opinion.  I'll be there bright and early.  i'm kind of curious to see who's not going to show.Š

  • April 30, 2006
  • By John
  • Comments Off on Don’t bark at Louis
  • in soul

Don’t bark at Louis

I've been watching the wierdest show.  It's called big love.  It's really wierd.. and pointless.. and i don't even know why i've bothered watching, but it's like i can't stop watching now.  All this time i've invested in it.  I wouldn't even recommend watching it.Š

  • April 23, 2006
  • By John
  • Comments Off on it’s been a long weekend
  • in day2day

it’s been a long weekend

friday jay called around 6am.  kvns was sounding really wierd.  called the transmitter and it was over 100 degrees in there.  we just had the ac serviced so figured that may have been the problem.  so i got up drove to the station picked up the ktex truck and went to brownsville. sure enough, it was the AC.  called the service people and they said they could be there in an hour.  so i drove around the city for a while, stoped by a circle k, picked up some munchies and when i got back in the truck it woudln't start.  *sigh*  so then i sat around eaching my munchies.. and decided to look under the hood.  found the problem.  there was a short cable from the fuse box that went to the positive lead of the battery, but it was short, and the battery mount was missing so it disconnected the cable.  i had my tools with me so it was a quick fix.  saturday we got up at 5am for angel food distribution.  and went to the hospital.  today we had church, went to the hospital took hannah to The Zone for a birthday party.  i finally got home and got to sit down and rest.  i think i'm going to watch tv the rest of the night.. maybe order a pizza.  i'm hungry.

  • April 23, 2006
  • By John
  • Comments Off on i hate hospitals
  • in soul

i hate hospitals

mom's been in the hospital since thursday.  they are sopoused to take out her gall blader monday.  yesterday paula and i went to see her, and today patti, paula and i went to see her.  she's look much better.  keep her in your prayers.

  • April 19, 2006
  • By John
  • Comments Off on pilots and mechanics
  • in humor

pilots and mechanics

Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident to date

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
 

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
 

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
 

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
 

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
 

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
 

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
 

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
 

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
 

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
 

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
 

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
 

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
 

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

  • April 19, 2006
  • By John
  • Comments Off on i survied easter
  • in Stuff

i survied easter

ate too much, smashed eggs on peoples head way harder than necessary, and ate some more.  i love the holidays.

  • April 13, 2006
  • By John
  • Comments Off on College Pledge
  • in humor

College Pledge


Child's College Pledge Form Download this form in PDF  format and hold your child legally responsible for their actions in college.
  • April 12, 2006
  • By Patti
  • Comments Off on Best “Out of Office” Replies
  • in humor

Best “Out of Office” Replies

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood. 

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged ?5.99 for the first ten words and ?1.99 for each additional word in your message.

5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7. I've run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:

8. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.. When I return, please refer to me as ' Margaret ' instead of 'Steve'.

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