i was talkikng with valerie th

i was talkikng with valerie the other day, yesterday i think.? She was saying, you know you never write about your feelings.? And i was like, yes i do, but thinking about it, she’s write most of the time i just write about my agenda for the day.? So what am i thinking?? I guess i’ve been tossing around insdide my head the news that she gave me not to long ago.? I think i’ve spent so long making myself not like Raul, that i’ve never been able to consider that they may actually end up together forever.? And what’s so bad about Raul anyway?? I don’t like the way he treats her sometimes.? I don’t like that he makes her cry and upset and how hurtfull he can be.? How he can be manulitpive and use guilt to get what he wants.? But then there are alot of things that she does like about him.? And for her to maket this decision she must obviosly be in love with him.? Who am i to decide if she does or doesn’t.? She is happy around him and sad when she’s away from him.? And if she’s as much of a friend to me as i say she is.. then i should be happy for her that hse’s found the person she loves.? And i shouldn’t be making such an effort to break them up if this is what she wants.? I should be supportive, i should be there to listen, i shouldn’t disaprove.? In my mind i think there is someone out there better for her but right now her life is focused on him.?? It’s kind of wierd though because i know valerie thinks that there is someone out there better for me than Patti.? Not that she necessarly disaproves of her, but that she thinks i should be with someone else.? So if i want for her to be acceping of my choices and want her to support me … i should do the same for her.