It’s good to be a girl because….

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3. Taxis stop for us.
4. We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don’t have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. We will never regret piercing our ears.
13. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
14. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren’t listening anyway.

One thought on “It’s good to be a girl because….”

  1. We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are their rules! Please note … these are all numbered “1” ON
    PURPOSE!

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
    1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
    1. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
    1. Don’t cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always ut their hair, and by then you’re stuck with her.
    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
    1. Crying is blackmail.
    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
    1. We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
    1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes — tops. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    1. Check your oil! Please.
    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.
    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
    1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
    1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. > We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
    1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t> want to hear.
    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
    1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
    1. You have enough clothes.
    1. You have too many shoes.
    1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it’s Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn’t really matter what they’re saying anyway.)
    1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn’t matter which quiz.

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