it’s just a piece of paper

i was having lunch the other day.  she was talking about her and her boyfriend and how someone was telling them they should get married.  she has always said that she’s already been married.  to her marriage was just a piece of paper.

well.. i’ve sat here and chewed on that for a long time and finally come to the realization that that’s just a bunch of crap. 

marriage is not just a piece of paper.  if that’s all it was, i wouldn’t be going through all the effort i’m going though to see this through.  and not just through the wedding but through the rest of our lives.  I love patti with all my heart and soul.  i know that i will be happy with her for the rest of my life.  i know that she’s the other half of myself and i know that she’s the one God put on this earth for me.  this wedding and this marriage is a covenant i’m going to be making with patti and with God.  a friend shared with me something once…

The key to spiritual and emotional oneness in marriage is not what you might think. It is not cleaving to one another. It is cleaving first and foremost to God. First, being primary – most being the most significant, the most important. If you want to have an intimate relationship with a mate, you do not pursue your mate; you pursue intimacy with God. The result of pursuing intimacy with God is intimacy with your mate. Truth in relationship is found by pursuing God first. I want to show this in a diagram which was shown to me 30 years ago, way before I was married. Cleaving First and Most to God

For a man and woman to become closer to one another, they cannot pursue each other. There are no arrows there between the man and the woman. They each pursue God. By the definition of a triangle, the physics of this, as you get closer and closer to God, you see that you become closer and closer with your mate. You are co-worshipers together as you live your lives first spiritually-centered, then emotionally centered, and then finally in a physical context. It is
mutual worshipers pursuing God.
It is like trying to get the affection of a Siamese cat. You don’t pursue the cat. You try to get a Siamese cat to receive your affection. By your pursuing that cat, it will never happen. Doesn’t anyone here have a Siamese cat? These cats are playing hard to get all the time. If you pursue your mate, you will stagnate in your relationship with one another. But if you pursue a higher thing, God, intimacy with God through Christ, then you are able to have interaction with your
mate at a level you never could otherwise.

So in essence, i want to draw closer to God in this marriage, and in the process, i’ll be able to draw closer to patti as well.  Making God the center, and not ourselves it will help us to archive a closer relationship between all three of us.