lack of anything else to to type today

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Remember, half the people you know are below average

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

The early bird may get the worm — but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

Support bacteria — They’re the only culture some people have.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

How many of you believe in psychokinesis? OK, now raise my hand.

So what’s the speed of dark?