Signs you are growing up!!!

25. Your  houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
24. Sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
23. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
22. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you  go to bed.
21. You  hear your favorite song in an elevator.
20. You watch the Weather  Channel.
19. Your  friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
18. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
17. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as  “dressed up.”
16. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the  stereo.
15. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
14. You don’t know what time  Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments  go up.
12. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of  McDonald’s leftovers.
11. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
10. You take naps.
9. Dinner and a movie is the whole date  instead of the beginning of one.
8. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would  severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
7. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid,  not condoms and pregnancy tests.
6. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good $h!_.”
5. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
4. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
3. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
2. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “what the hell happened?”
And the number one sign you are getting old is:

1. You read  this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save  your sorry butt.